My Digitized Thoughts - Ramen Mukherjee ...

It’s been a long time. I kept on thinking should I continue this blog of mine which I loved so much? Because I’m nt getting any response. For that much of thoughts, I have shared with u all for so long no responses have been received yet. And yes because my life is rather a very stagnant one. Same old routine I follow each day and at the end of it I feel my ass kicked enough to be pained.

I’m too tired these days to talk anything about my same old boring life. Nothing happened since then when I last written on this blog. Thought of much in my life gt yet so little. Meaningless life is what I’m leading right now. Nothing to loose more except ofcource my soul. Everything aroud me is nt seems to fit in, nt perfect for me, they r nt comforting me obviously if they r doing that why I m writing this god damned post here?

My social life is ruined as I feel reluctant enough not to do anything online. First factor is always the short time I get & second is my lack of true friends over net. It all seems boring. Daily group net sms & sending scrap wall tweets buzz all over the net to all. They r all shouting about same thing. The social network what I used to be habituated of was more than just doing these, that had a life now its stone cold.

There is no frill in my life and I know that I have written this line for many times. I have always kept my word given bt don’t know why I don’t like to be myself now. I like to fly away from myself. To far far away. I m sick of being no one for all. I like to be someone else. Start a new life.do something new.

Why I m so thirsty? Why I m nt satisfied? Why I want all things to be so perfect? Am I perfect? If not then why? And how I can be more perfect I don’t know… I really don’t know. yes I m very moody and sometimes very sensitive. Yes many things hurt me and I learned how to get over them bt still maybe I m nt upto the mark supressing my inner feelings for that many take advantages of it..

Why still I miss her friendship? I don’t know. Maybe really there was something between us bt yes I have came to know her true face and that is nt what I used to see, maybe that’s her mask she wore to impress me.bt her real face feels much more true to me that her previous one or her mask …and what fool I m to think of writing the entire classes for her in a copy where she already did the Xerox on her first day even I came to college. she never even bothered to ask me for any kind of help. never asked me truly how and I where I made clear to her that I MISSED HER …the most funny thing is I m criticizing her here just because I m so angry with her? Shit .,…

They say that this is my high time to make my future bt what if there is no future of this dying person? All I want it to live free for the last time.one last time I want to breathe ….i never said to them LEAVE ME ALONE though they all left me maybe I will live that long to see them ALONE. that day my friend I will laugh at them as they r doing the same to me. they mock me because I m of higher degree than them. They envy me. and that reflects nt only in their words bt in actions too. Perhaps she wants me to beg to her bt if she thinks me of spineless then it will be only her folly nt mine.

No I dnt want to share anything new. I simply don’t want to tell u about some new technology.not now.bt someday when I go to the top and u will stay at the bottom U WILL THINK that what if we all stayed with him in the time when he needed us so much.

Bt leave them as I m self made man I have walked the 20 years by my own and rest of the road I will walk alone and every time I will fall I will stand up on my own. i will never break down. i will stay strong & sharp because I know the white energy is with me. its guiding me. all the time. protecting me. surrounding me. showing me the way always. i was so blind nt to feel it for that time.bt now my soul has awaken and there is no one who can stop me. i fear no one. not even god. because I m the god of my own destiny and there is no one who is gonna take that from me.my destiny is fixed.my purpose is right. i will serve it and make my path through them to reach to my destiny. lets see what future holds for me.