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Lost & Found

7:49 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Another tiresome day passed by. Got no time for myself but I did had some good readings from the book I am currently reading, You Can Win by Shiv Khera.  It’s a good book indeed. Filled with positivity. Couldn't sleep all night. Spent almost awake last night. First it was my insomnia, then it was my thirst, then toilet, then it was sudden change in weather from hot to cold, had to find a rag to slip under. The whole night I was busy if you can imagine. Some days go like this. Busy and busy. But nights? Perhaps god don’t wants me to take rest.

The book was full of positivity. The more I read it, the more I can feel it. But the main thing remained the same. I have to feel this positivity within me. The moment I read the book I feel good, and the moment I close it, I start to feel bad and filled with negativity. This should not happen because I will end the book very soon but if I don’t get the Zeist of being positive then the study of the book will be unfruitful.

It’s a Friday, end of college, starting of weekends but I don’t have any peace in mind because I have to go to MBA class and also run for my internship. Don’t know where to go or what to do as I don’t have any proper idea about my subject and the responsibilities I had to take as a project manager. But I would surely I like to have some experience. This would be nice. I have to be a professional on the market.

Today at morning I broke my brand new specs. I felt so bad about it. Last night I was discussing about this with my bestest friend and she told me that I would look nicer if I would have taken a white handled frame instead of the blue one, which I chose. And now after 10 hours of breaking the spec’s handle I got the new one. Same in design but while in colour. She would be happy about it. And I am also happy by getting a certificate from her just the matter is I have to shed out extra 150 rupees for that. But the previous frame had some problems regarding the left handle, it was causing immense pain my ear now I am comfortable in this frame. This frame seems nice. Let’s see what happens in next couple of days.

The secret project I was working on, I sent it to my teacher and he told me that he will be publishing it. Also 70 rupees is due from his side. What I spent from my pocket during teacher’s day. The seniors are telling me to get the money from my teacher. And the teacher is clueless about the expenses and he does not have any balance sheet. Meanwhile I am getting deprived of my 70 rupees which I have managed by taking loans and that I have to pay. They are not understanding my problem. Anyways I am a calm person. Let’s see, well let’s be positive about the outcome as the book is teaching me.

My best friend, my male best friend is now at Chennai for his mother’s treatment. It’s been a while I didn’t seen him. I miss him being in Chennai we can’t talk over phone much though he has roaming pack enabled. I text him at times but he cant reply as he don’t have any sms pack. Well to talk about my message card it is getting wasted from the day my recent gf left me. Because the purpose of this entire sim and sms pack is to talk with her. She was an unsatisfied & impatient soul. May god bless her with satisfaction and patience.

The funny thing is that when I was doing something or studying my inbox get filled up with all the text and facebook messages. And when I stay idle I get nothing. People seems so busy at times that I feel super ignored and I HATE to be ignored. No matter what anyone does to me I don’t care but I can’t tolerate ignorance towards me. The teachings I received told me that never ignore anyone, not any sould but it didn’t taught me to handle ignorance of others towards me. I know ignorance is a bliss and I can ignore people too, sometimes against my will but I still can’t tolerate it.

Sometimes it feels to bad to be ignored by your loved one. Isn’t it?

A day at Government Hospital..

9:47 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Biswakarma Puja 2013 went on good, the whole day I spend running here and there and the day started with the visit to local government sub divisional hospital for treatment of me and my mom. Many good doctors from the locality and outside has joined there. I visited there previously. I know. Despite of the bad conditions we see every day in newspapers, the hospital is in a good condition. The doctor was known to us. The visit was like a joy ride. All of us are excited and it’s like of doing adventure. We visited doc and bought medicine from fair price shop with 57% discount on price. They are mostly selling generic medicines but they have almost every type of so called branded medicine’s alternatives. It is quite interesting to see.

I saw many people there with different problems and different class and calibre. There are poorest of poor’s and there are some rich people too. Maybe they have come here to visit some special doctor or maybe they have come for some certificates. Whatever the reasons they are feeling very comfortable here. The whole hospital is good and divided properly. The crowd is not much there today, I don’t know the cause for. I even visited the canteen, it’s small and cheap but at least can be said as clean. There are eye donation camps, blood donation camps, x-ray protection unit and other health care units also with one emergency and one speciality homeopathic centre. The hospital is expanding a wing in the front side. The ambulances are all ready and decorated properly, as today is Biswakarma Puja. The other departments seemed very old. The instruments and machineries are old but it seemed that they at least try to maintain it. No foul smell was there. No dogs in the compound, well I don’t know if there are any in wards but found none in the inner and outer compound. There were police, as much I heard from their gossips, there was a fight at nearby locality and they caught some people red handed, they just need some first aid. Even in this semi megacity of Asansol, reaching the Government hospital is costly and tiresome. It’s situated in a corner of the city.

The price of medicines in India is growing, according to my findings they profit as much as 400% from a tablet they sell. Price of medicine, cost of hospitalization and visiting fees of doctors should be controlled by government. Especially when the majority of countrymen are below poverty level. And not everyone has the access to even the nearest government hospital.  The cost of reaching to hospital is sometimes become too much to bear for them. In this case no matter what our made to believe poor government can do, they will always be deprived of the minimum treatment. All our tax money goes up in Swiss bank accounts.

Medicines are very much needed to the people. As the growing number of ill health people is more in India than any other country. People are decaying here because of malnutrition. People dies here because of being unable to pay ₹500 - ₹700 doctor fees. Only a certain percentage of Indians have health insurance and other insurance like car home etc. more people have credit card here but a nominal security to a common man is not available. What is the cause of it? The main cause are the government policies. Government is what making us poorer. Richs are getting richer day by day. India maybe the only place where education & health is a growing industry. That’s why the morale value is degraded here because businesses don’t play with morals. They play with profits. And zombies are the CEO.

God, is just the name of a stone sculpture here perhaps because gods are not saving us from the problems. If the god has any power, it must have been shown to us till now. People got killed brutally by nature in Uttarakhand, still god only saved his temple but took life of thousands. If this is the kind of god we are praising to then we don’t need gods. India is going into abyss still no one came to save us where god himself has written in religious books and spiritual sculptures that he will come again when time will need him.

Where is he when our females are getting raped day by day and the numbers are increasing? Is the god asleep? What should we need to do to wake him up from his eternal sleep? Another answer to the above question is that god resides in us, the mere humans, as Swamiji said. It is the god in ourselves which is asleep and perhaps forgot to wake up ever, because we indulged ourselves too much into the culture and habit of enjoyment. We forgot to enjoy the harmony peace and nature. We now enjoying what is rest of us, the light of humanity is shivering and thus may be looking bright for our numerous inventions and achievements but maybe it is about to go off soon.

The real end of the world is thus not very far from us. They say that the civilizations started from Africa and it developed in India (Kerala Especially) according to Project Genome. And maybe the end of humanity will come to its end in Africa too via India. India is going into dark ages again. Our females are in danger and there is nothing we can do to save them at this moment because we the men are sleeping. The real men are sleeping that’s why daemons are out there. The guardian angels are all gone or they have been converted to vultures. Policeman is raping civilians and army women gets raped. If they are not secured then who will save us? Government only takes action with political attributes where it smells the potential votes. It only bothers about the issues which will bring them more political power.


Where are we standing now?

How to get job and be a successful professional, specially for an MCA student..

4:08 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
As with our meetings with HOD sir and Head T&P sir there are some informations I feel that I should give about HOW to be prosper in career and to get a job actually, some lines are of respective teachers, HOD and some are from Industry leaders remixed with my experiences, hope they will work also for you as they have worked for many people -

1) Have some out of syllabus knowledge / Training / Certification Courses about various Topics, mainly like HTML, PHP, ASP.NET, C#, J#, SAP, AB INITIO, MYSQL, J2EE, Java Scripts, Ruby, Perl, Python etc.. Companies now demand people who will be able to work properly from the day one. for that you also need to have an in depth knowledge of industry tools like Qt, Qtp, LaTex, Raptor Tool, IBM lotus, Rose... etc. don't give an excuse to yourself that this is NOT in syllabus. company does not follow your syllabus. it follows the market needs and trends.

2) Have some Industry's latest technological advancement news and informations, update and equip yourself with all the news like GOOGLE GLASS.

3) Do some international certification courses like CCNA, RHCE, OCJP, MCTS, MCSE etc. they will give you a competitive edge over others.

4) There is no company "WITHOUT CRITERIA", some company writes their criteria, some don't. which companies does not give any criteria list, filters out the students with higher knowledge through HARD exams.

5) DO NOT be absent on any campusing day, no matter what is the size, name, goodwill, salary is offered of the company. Continuous attendance in all the campusing events shows your eagerness towards job and company watches it SERIOUSLY along with all the T&P officers involved in our college. Don't be afraid that if you get in a small company you will not be able to sit in next big company. lack of professionalism is what makes your profile most unsuitable to the company. company does not expect that you will answer all the questions but they need a better human being also. and COLLEGE WILL NOT SEND candidates to the venue if they suspect that you will demolish the goodwill of the college because the bad experiance company will face from you will make their impression about the entire college.

6) Small companies offer large packages and expects a professional person from you who will be able to work from day one WITHOUT any training. For that they require MCA, as we have more experience.

7) Have knowledge about current industry trends like CLOUD COMPUTING, client server architectures, online collaboration tools, virtual office etc. Also have some knowledge about Hardware networking and software design. knowledge on project management and humanities is also needed, job is not all about coding, sometimes you have to prepare documentation also and letters to be sent to upward or downward stream.

8) PLEASE at least solve 1000 industry related APTI question papers and follow R S AGARWAL's book [given in the group]. there are also sites which provides several company's test papers.

9) DO NOT GET dependent on the college T&P department, also try for off campus, talk to your friends, put your CV in several job sites and update them regularly. The industry foloows some new standards like online CV, telephonic interviews.

10) TRY for govt jobs also.

11) If you need any training on any field just ask to your HOD and he will surely provide that to you. APTI tests is going to be held on regular basis from now on. Seminars and Trainings from now on will be mandatory. 

12) Prepare for GATE (CSIT) 2015 from now. no matter if you go for M Tech or PhD, GATE score will get you competitive edge on getting a JOB. AEC GATE academy may be opened in 2014.

13) With all the knowledge and Aptitude solving techniques people think that they are ready when they are not. They fail in the place of Communication skill and ability to express themselves. many people ignore language study. but what is the use of knowledge if you cant express yourself. if you want to survive command the language.

14) The main problem in interview is not to deliver the answers but it is the confidence level and inability to face questions. thats why mock interviews are needed, GD, Extempore and other things are needed. From now on MCA students should select the subjects on which they have depth and they will teach juniors and will take classes. in this way the fear of talking to others and facing questions will be solved. keep in mind that all the classes will also be evaluated by live faculty members.

15) Try to clear your doubts and be the master of your core subjects like C/C++ programming, DBMS, Networking etc. You are expected to give instant answers when questions are thrown to you from these core departmental fields.

 16) Also knowledge of basic computing like MS OFFICE, troubleshooting, handling of computer and peripherals, usage of outlook, mail, and internet is absolutely EXPECTED from an MCA. do not forget to be technically SOUND.

I know the whole post is very long and probably boring and you must be tired reading all those lines but try to follow these and you will be more sucessful in getting jobs than others.

Thank You for your patience.

Lone Walker..

10:11 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
I had told her once to make moments with me, make so many moments that we will always be afraid of losing them. In that way we will never lose each other. But she never paid any heed and now she is getting other men who gave the most desired things of her. I know slowly I am becoming an arranged marriage material. Because all the love in myself is getting dried up. People are so mean. Mean because they didn’t knew what to value and how to value. Because? They have every pleasurable things piled up in front of them and they are readily available. That’s why they treat people like shit. They don’t know now that whatever they are doing now, they will get it back sure in this miserable life of theirs. Karma is a bitch.

I am working on some project now, given by my professors at college. Felt good when I got this and felt better when I knew that no one was ready to do it but then again I became sad realising that I am just getting used by someone. For the sake of college and for my obedience to it I am getting used. Not feeling well. My personal life is devastated. Life is so painful now but I know it’s my choice to make it pitiful or not. And I will not live in someone’s sympathy. Living in it is just equal to be dead again. And I don’t want to die. I was reborn with many sacrifices from my side and efforts from others. Can’t let them down. Can’t let their efforts into vein. I have to walk, even if I have to walk alone.

Had an immense joy when I saw daughter of my classmate. It’s so sweet soft and cute. Felt amazing for it. Becoming uncle for first time. I have grown and now I felt that I have some responsibility but is this really worth my life. What I am doing with my life? I know life is very beautiful but beauty without meaning is just wastage. What I have got in life so far? Nothing. And what I have lost? Everything. I know people with tell me that I have myself and so does everyone. Does it make any differences? I am not at all materialistic, well not at all. I would be happy if I would be one of them. I mean a Facebook password will make me happier than a gift. I will not miss any people I will just hold on to their gifts and will be happy thinking that they are with me. I want to be materialistic but I think something in your nature doesn’t change, it’s the core, the spine of your existence.

I am not crying for any partner of life. I am crying because I have no one proper in my life and I can’t leave people who are not with me properly. It sounds so selfish. I am a person who cried for hours to his best friend after selling his old mobile. Why? That old mobile was neither in good position nor did I get little money selling it. I got good amount of it. They why I was crying? Simply because I loved it and now it’s no more available to me. I am person who doesn’t let anything go. I want to live with all. Live with everything. But I think I am getting harder slowly. And when I will become hard enough I will be dead because my core part will be damaged forever and this Ramen will be gone. Will the people miss me? I don’t know, but I am sure they will remember me.

Social networking is filled with fake peoples. Can’t believe anyone there. Maybe it’s filled with some good-looking girls and boys and people like to watch them and flirt with them but I didn’t really mastered the art of flirting yet people call me a womanizer. Anyways, it doesn’t a matter now. I know what people think about me. Now I am so obvious that why people would like me? I don’t have a cute face nor a honking bike. I am not rich and I don’t put stylish pictures tagging n numbers of people so I am not popular and so I am not in demand. It’s all about marketing and it became so clear to me. We all sell ourselves and I am also preparing to do so, I just want to have my homework ready first-hand.

Walking towards the forward is the only way to move and I want to move, without it I would become dead…..

Coliseum of Catastrophe ...

3:21 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Human mind is an amazing thing. there is practically nothing it can't do. you main power lies in yourself, in your mind. it is the harness of all energy. both positive and negative. it can love and it can hate. god gifted us with all the powers, maybe powers greater than himself. we can take revenge or we can forgive. the choice, it lies always in our hand. our biggest failure is to think anything impossible instantaneously when we can not comprehend it using our own logics and philosophies. we take it as alien and we reject it from heart and thus we lose opportunity.

opportunity always knock once. people often lose it in search of the better one, but opportunity be it coming or going never stays as same. the next opportunity may be good or bad, may bring luck or bad luck but it would never be the same again. people misses it for their extreme wants. needs are good and limited but human wants cannot be fulfilled  no one can fulfil it unless you have your inner peace which comes from satisfaction.

As humans it is our birthright to err. We do errors, we must rectify it now and here, once em for all. there is no chance of waiting. sometimes some people's ego come between and their vision gets shaded. they forget about their aims and spend their times in doing worthless thing which seems so valuable at that momentum. some calls it MAYA.. the deepest urge to fulfil your dream is also maya. it is divine. they say Indra is the ruler of maya. but it is also fact that maya falls in none's control.

it is uncontrollable and it is justified. a beast, say a bison, hits a wall with all his strength without thinking about that it may get hurt, it may cost its life, it may have injuries and maybe its family gets lost from him forever. NO, it doesn't thinks about it. it just hits because it is not controlled by maya. we are controlled with maya. maya binds us all in a string and thats why we are all connected through maya. thats why humankind should take care of itself and everyone because we are all connected. its a global village.

Every people in this earth borns with some amount of Ego built in. some have less some have more and some people's ego decreases or increases by time. world is a dynamic place indeed thats why nothing is fixed here. today what is your's tomorrow it will be mine. and the story goes on of uncertainty. Ego is a fire which ruins everything, especially your relations.

In relationship the two people involve in this are like the wheels of a bicycle and each of them should also push and pull the paddle to give speed in the relation. too fast the speed, too tired the tires will become. too slow and they will lose their urge to work. it should be balanced. balance comes from inner peace and sacrifice compassion compromise and most of all trust.

Trust, the most valuable ingredient of any relationship. people lose trust because of their high self esteem, doubtful nature, Ego, misunderstandings, urge to fight more even beyond the scope of the problem. Doubtfulness brings insecurity which in turn brings unsatisfaction which brings disappointment and it brings sadness. now a sad person always radiates sadness. it is in human nature to radiate feeling. when you are happy everyone knows, some say it body language, some say its Aura. whatever it is, it shows.

My life is filled with errors. not the errors we programmers face everyday in our work or study. this errors are some done by us and some by situations. the act of god you might say but then again the debate of god being acting as evil may invoke. i am not going into that way right now. my point is that maybe i have done some errors but i am always prepared to rectify it, perhaps my software engineer background is more liable for it or maybe just because of my nature i am good in my field. nevertheless the point remains the same. i am what i am. and i should change according to the time WITHOUT changing my core values because this is my spine and this is what i am born with...

isnt it?

The Closure...

10:20 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Its been 45 days. i know i am taking too much time now a days to write a blog again. My regular readers were surely getting irritated. they want to know more about me. i can feel their anger in me. maybe because my biggest follower is perhaps me, the only living soul who wants to know and questions me continuously about what i am doing. maybe it guides me by asking the right directions. i am my only hope and i believe in it. i had no one in my life, persistently. everyone came and go like they never mattered, well instead i should say that i never mattered to them. they all came with a purpose, some known, some unknown.

Like this recently someone came to my life. i felt complete and secured with her. she came as a fresh wind. previously when i took my first month out from facebook. i thought of never going back to it. but then again reality knocked at my door and i realized that i have to save my internet connection to get disconnected permanently. so i recharged and came back to the cyber life which i sworn to leave at all cost.

though i realized that i am not at all addicted to FB, i curiously checked every details. i found a very sweet girl's message and a friend request which follows it. she said she wanted to be my friend and she liked my profile. we chatted and soon i was spending most of my hours chatting with her, chatting becomes calling and soon in a week we started dating. i liked her in first look and lover her hearing her words and learning her mentality. she was nice, very nice actually. just like my dreams she came alive to me. she is what i wished for, i got more than my demand from her. maybe its because my demand r low and maybe i am more mature than she. she became my whole world. i got attached to her and realised i am committed to her. i became happy, boundlessly.

Our choices matched astonishingly. we are from same ethnicity and community. i told my parents about it and they accepted her though they didn't forgot the last time they were betrayed. our relation grows deeper not by days but perhaps by hours. no matter what i promised myself that i will never let come anything between us and i let her free because true love always sets you free. we had a huge age difference, something about 7 years and yet she loved her madly. i saw true love in her eyes. the faith she had for me.

THEN

There came a series of small issues, issues became debates and her high ego ruined everything and breakup happened. may seems like a regular incident as one of my friend told me that girls breakup 28 times in a month, but jokes apart i hate breakups. it pains me like hell. and 4 breakups in 45 days is just too much to handle even for me i think. i cried for her in these 45 days like nothing. well, surely i will not discuss the very private things about us and our moments here but i can say i really loved her but her doubt about me grew larger day by day.

She doubted that i am having an affair with my best friend, who happens to be a girl whom i loved. she demanded my facebook password for that. i denied to give as it contains tons of messages from my friends across globe and filled with THEIR personal talks. i can't just hand over their privacy to someone they don't even know properly. i told her that i will give her my credentials only after deleting all the messages. she denied. she kept on telling me fowl words and my best friend also. i can endure everything but not the insult of my best friend. i know her and she stood besides me when there was no one in my darkest of days. i just cant leave my best friend for anyone.

She failed to realise that every people have their own place and priority. they should not fight among themselves for each other's place. and she did this mistake. she looked at her plate while overlooking the food's quantity in her plate. she wanted to know everything about me i readily agreed. i handed over a 18.5 pages of auto biography which i penned only for her in response of her 4 pages of emotions. i don't know but i never seen much boys to do that. i was faithful to her just i skipped some names but gave the full incidents to her as i didn't wanted her view about them is getting biased. but she thought that i am hiding things. later i agreed to give the names but she denied to take.

So, finally she broke up. it was ok, i knew she will come back and i will make her mine again but she ruined it with her uncontrolled words. sure i can forgive this too but for this she should be asking for forgiveness but still she didnt. she will not do, i know. her ego is too big. she is too immature to understand my silent love and care and perhaps i became too old to understand her blingful love. she wanted the whole of me but i cleared to her at first that i am into pieces. either she have to find them of have to accept me in pieces and someday perhaps by her glue of love i can be whole again.

It is true, god knows it that i was complete with her. i told everyone about her with sheer happiness. i didn't hoped for this relation to end because it was so damn perfect. i cried like hell but i know that i can never let her come back in my life because it is clear that we cant be together at this time. but the question is whether we can be together later or not. she is immature like a baby now. but will her maturity ever grow?

I dont know but i just hope for the best, i am trying too be positive this time and pray to god not to ruin it. please..
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