The Closure...
10:20 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Its been 45 days. i know i am taking too much time now a days to write a blog again. My regular readers were surely getting irritated. they want to know more about me. i can feel their anger in me. maybe because my biggest follower is perhaps me, the only living soul who wants to know and questions me continuously about what i am doing. maybe it guides me by asking the right directions. i am my only hope and i believe in it. i had no one in my life, persistently. everyone came and go like they never mattered, well instead i should say that i never mattered to them. they all came with a purpose, some known, some unknown.
Like this recently someone came to my life. i felt complete and secured with her. she came as a fresh wind. previously when i took my first month out from facebook. i thought of never going back to it. but then again reality knocked at my door and i realized that i have to save my internet connection to get disconnected permanently. so i recharged and came back to the cyber life which i sworn to leave at all cost.
though i realized that i am not at all addicted to FB, i curiously checked every details. i found a very sweet girl's message and a friend request which follows it. she said she wanted to be my friend and she liked my profile. we chatted and soon i was spending most of my hours chatting with her, chatting becomes calling and soon in a week we started dating. i liked her in first look and lover her hearing her words and learning her mentality. she was nice, very nice actually. just like my dreams she came alive to me. she is what i wished for, i got more than my demand from her. maybe its because my demand r low and maybe i am more mature than she. she became my whole world. i got attached to her and realised i am committed to her. i became happy, boundlessly.
Our choices matched astonishingly. we are from same ethnicity and community. i told my parents about it and they accepted her though they didn't forgot the last time they were betrayed. our relation grows deeper not by days but perhaps by hours. no matter what i promised myself that i will never let come anything between us and i let her free because true love always sets you free. we had a huge age difference, something about 7 years and yet she loved her madly. i saw true love in her eyes. the faith she had for me.
THEN
There came a series of small issues, issues became debates and her high ego ruined everything and breakup happened. may seems like a regular incident as one of my friend told me that girls breakup 28 times in a month, but jokes apart i hate breakups. it pains me like hell. and 4 breakups in 45 days is just too much to handle even for me i think. i cried for her in these 45 days like nothing. well, surely i will not discuss the very private things about us and our moments here but i can say i really loved her but her doubt about me grew larger day by day.
She doubted that i am having an affair with my best friend, who happens to be a girl whom i loved. she demanded my facebook password for that. i denied to give as it contains tons of messages from my friends across globe and filled with THEIR personal talks. i can't just hand over their privacy to someone they don't even know properly. i told her that i will give her my credentials only after deleting all the messages. she denied. she kept on telling me fowl words and my best friend also. i can endure everything but not the insult of my best friend. i know her and she stood besides me when there was no one in my darkest of days. i just cant leave my best friend for anyone.
She failed to realise that every people have their own place and priority. they should not fight among themselves for each other's place. and she did this mistake. she looked at her plate while overlooking the food's quantity in her plate. she wanted to know everything about me i readily agreed. i handed over a 18.5 pages of auto biography which i penned only for her in response of her 4 pages of emotions. i don't know but i never seen much boys to do that. i was faithful to her just i skipped some names but gave the full incidents to her as i didn't wanted her view about them is getting biased. but she thought that i am hiding things. later i agreed to give the names but she denied to take.
So, finally she broke up. it was ok, i knew she will come back and i will make her mine again but she ruined it with her uncontrolled words. sure i can forgive this too but for this she should be asking for forgiveness but still she didnt. she will not do, i know. her ego is too big. she is too immature to understand my silent love and care and perhaps i became too old to understand her blingful love. she wanted the whole of me but i cleared to her at first that i am into pieces. either she have to find them of have to accept me in pieces and someday perhaps by her glue of love i can be whole again.
It is true, god knows it that i was complete with her. i told everyone about her with sheer happiness. i didn't hoped for this relation to end because it was so damn perfect. i cried like hell but i know that i can never let her come back in my life because it is clear that we cant be together at this time. but the question is whether we can be together later or not. she is immature like a baby now. but will her maturity ever grow?
I dont know but i just hope for the best, i am trying too be positive this time and pray to god not to ruin it. please..
I dont know but i just hope for the best, i am trying too be positive this time and pray to god not to ruin it. please..
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