Lone Walker..
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I had told her once to make
moments with me, make so many moments that we will always be afraid
of losing them. In that way we will never lose each
other. But she never paid any heed and now she is getting other men who gave
the most desired things of her. I know slowly I am becoming an
arranged marriage material. Because all the love in myself is getting dried up.
People are so mean. Mean because they didn’t knew what to value and how to
value. Because? They have every pleasurable things piled up in front of them
and they are readily available. That’s why they treat people like shit. They don’t
know now that whatever they are doing now, they will get it back sure in this miserable
life of theirs. Karma is a bitch.
I am working on some project now,
given by my professors at college. Felt good when I got this and felt better
when I knew that no one was ready to do it but then again I became sad
realising that I am just getting used by someone. For the sake of college and
for my obedience to it I am getting used. Not feeling well. My personal life is
devastated. Life is so painful now but I know it’s my choice to make it pitiful
or not. And I will not live in someone’s sympathy. Living in it is just equal
to be dead again. And I don’t want to die. I was reborn with many sacrifices
from my side and efforts from others. Can’t let them down. Can’t let their
efforts into vein. I have to walk, even if I have to walk alone.
Had an immense joy when I saw
daughter of my classmate. It’s so sweet soft and cute. Felt amazing for it. Becoming
uncle for first time. I have grown and now I felt that I have some
responsibility but is this really worth my life. What I am doing with my life? I
know life is very beautiful but beauty without meaning is just wastage. What I have
got in life so far? Nothing. And what I have lost? Everything. I know people
with tell me that I have myself and so does everyone. Does it make any differences?
I am not at all materialistic, well not at all. I would be happy if I would be
one of them. I mean a Facebook password will make me happier than a gift. I will
not miss any people I will just hold on to their gifts and will be happy
thinking that they are with me. I want to be materialistic but I think
something in your nature doesn’t change, it’s the core, the spine of your existence.
I am not crying for any partner
of life. I am crying because I have no one proper in my life and I can’t leave
people who are not with me properly. It sounds so selfish. I am a person who
cried for hours to his best friend after selling his old mobile. Why? That old
mobile was neither in good position nor did I get little money selling it. I got
good amount of it. They why I was crying? Simply because I loved it and now it’s
no more available to me. I am person who doesn’t let anything go. I want to
live with all. Live with everything. But I think I am getting harder slowly. And
when I will become hard enough I will be dead because my core part will be
damaged forever and this Ramen will be gone. Will the people miss me? I don’t know,
but I am sure they will remember me.
Social networking is filled with fake
peoples. Can’t believe anyone there. Maybe it’s filled with some good-looking girls
and boys and people like to watch them and flirt with them but I didn’t really
mastered the art of flirting yet people call me a womanizer. Anyways, it doesn’t
a matter now. I know what people think about me. Now I am so obvious that why
people would like me? I don’t have a cute face nor a honking bike. I am not
rich and I don’t put stylish pictures tagging n numbers of people so I am not popular
and so I am not in demand. It’s all about marketing and it became so clear to
me. We all sell ourselves and I am also preparing to do so, I just want to have
my homework ready first-hand.
Walking towards the forward is
the only way to move and I want to move, without it I would become dead…..
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