My Digitized Thoughts - Ramen Mukherjee ...

Helly guys,

This is me again.well its quite night ,actually midnight.na na i m nt gone complete crazy i just need to tell some more things.

1^st Riya stopped contacting me of any kind.maybe she is having exam bt this is only her alibi i think because she can certainly giv me miscls in return.is she angry with me because of my investigation for aniket da?bt i said sorry tpo her and made all clear to her.then? she even don’t tell me hws her exams r going?i heard from a source that she all time texts from her Vodafone mobile with her fnrds bt she don’t even gv me a miscal.after i said that to her she didn’t doing it.she is like this from all the time.from the past bt will she dnt change for me?am i nt her frnd?didnt i done many things for her?she only remembers when she needs anything.never enquired that i m alive or dead.ya the problem is with me always.i knew that.maybe she thinks me of a bad boy because i dared to love her sister and maybe she thought that either i m loving her or i sud love her which i didn’t and nt doing.why she is doing that to me.she knew perfectly that i dnt have much good frnds and she is one of my few good frnds whom i actually trust.bt each time i m getting hurt by her behaviour my trust is decaying slowly.i dnt know hw long i gonna hold on.bt certainly it is examining my patience.and i m nt a very patient guy.

2^nd Debaleena is gone complete crazy after her bf who is almost 11 years older than her.and she now decided to not to call others specially boys and nt to do anything without the permission of her bf.i mean what kind of bf he is who thiks his gf as his personal property? I know she cant live like this.i know her very much and from many days.god .. some people have luck.she already had much trouble with that ger bf already yet she loves her so much that she went mad for him.and doing nuts. ya know her that she is little bit crazy.from her very early days.but i cant believe she is doing this to herself.dnt she feels suffocated?is she becomes a robot for that guy?pathetic.she said she will nt give any explanation.she dnt want quarrel.she stopped me from sending her sms because her guy dnt like that.what an ex-planation !! and she will use only the sim card which her bf will provide and she will need to take permission if she wants to call anyone.shit.its like shr has been sold to that guy.i don’t know what happen bt a girl behaves like this only if she gets married of she is intimate with this guy.what a mess.....nah i cant see this.......good luck debo.may god be with you.

3^rd Today its just a small high spin in the air for say 10 minutes nt long and nw it is so hot that we have to run AC to cool down ourselves.i mean then what the use of this raining?raining and ice chunk [i dnt know the English of it properly] fall from sky? Thunder storm? Where is much hyped Laila? No sign of decreasing heat and if it decreases then humidity increases so much that again we have to run ac.

4^th frequent powercut just made our life hell.while all the political parties arefighting with each other for the sake of their chairs no one is caring for us.we are the one who are suffering from this hot wether and loadsheddings.we cant run our houses and our shops.we are nt the rich guys like them hw can we manage our family needs?are we guys are ultimate loosers?

5^th i m missing my collg and my frnds very much.dnt know why bt home has become the most boring and irritating place for me.

6^th i just thought to sell fo the MTS connection. just because i m getting scolded evrytime i mention that i have to recharge that modem with money.i finally decided to sell it out,.i already mentioned it in my selling items.

7^th Ratri is not letting me help her out.she is already so obsessed with her sorority that she wants to be in sadness forever.i mean what the use of being sad? When u can be just happy? I tried a lot bt still i m just an orkut frnd to her.when i said that to her she said that i m talking gibberish bt i talk only what i feel.and i m feeling hated.ignored.she dnt notice my affection towards her.she might even thinking of another topper bt not me.she didint learnt that good marks doesn’t means a good man.she is maybe thinking of me as a fake man.she dnt trust me.she only said good words to me because she dnt want to me to get hurt.i know that all bt a man’s works speaks more than his intentions.she dnt care for me anymore.no one cares for me.i knew that.its not just abt her of anything.its just my god damn luck.

8^th ya sometimes i ask myself did i done justise to the girl who loved me?but the problem is that what problem she has she cant make out them even i make then out she cant make over them.ehy wud she change when there is no guarantee of acceptance?ya its logical for her to get angry on me.ignore me.run away from me.bt i m helpless.my family dnt supports me.she has a doubt in herself.and her doubt is making my doubt stronger thats why i came up to this hard dececion that we sud depart from each other for the sake of good of each other.it is nt that i didn’t loved her but i think only love is not enough to make a stable relationship.she is nt the girl i want and i m nt the man she deserves.she deserves more than me.my future is dark and hanging hers is not on other hand.she is smart good looking educated and she has a dream and future too.she has a love marriage written on her palms and at tender ages.and in my palms it is arrange marriage at a late age.all things come to me at a late age and with much sufferings and trials.even our kundali doesn’t matches.my mom didn’t liked her.well after my mom’s heart broke when my EX left me she is going frantic over these.she now wants a bnride of her own choice for me.if i can bring one of her choice then she wud accept or otherwise she will also accept bt not from open heart and i cant bring any girl to this hell whole without nt letting her know all abt me and my family that what i told to her ,to give me more time to know her and to let her know abt all myself and my family.we have plenty of time in our hands.we can do that but as she is very restless and impatient and aggressive she sticks to her words.if she wud have been given me time......but then again i cant stop thinking abt her.why godf plays with me and my happiness.whenever i get happy i get hurt also and it always teaches me that happiness are fragile ..sadness is truth.do i look handsome when i m sad?i don’t know why god do that to myself.what fault i have done?why god do this to me all the time? Sudnt i have some rights for a HAPPYLY EVER AFTER type life where everything is allright and according to the plan?no no no maybe i m thinking too much or it is the stress which is messing with my logical mind.

Once Riya said to me that whenever i feel to speak to antone bt find no one i sud write then down on the diary.she said she does that.i started writing diaries.ya it felt very good to me.bt i burnt the diary because i feared that what if someone reads that?bt now i m writing same kind of material in my blog.why i do that?if i m writing a blog then why i burnt down my diary?and if i have done that why i m writing my blog here?i don’t know that or what is messing with my mind.surely what i m doing is nt good and nt bad either....its unspoken.

We have a satyanarayan puja tomorrow.well today actually it is half past midnight so the day has started bt as of us Indians day wont begun until the sun rises.we do this kind of puja in hope for getting good luck for house and family and seeimg the condition of us we definitely need this kind of puja every week.because we are all out of luck.our house is filled with hatred, quarrel, illness, problems, proverty, dissatisfaction... its like bad omen is haunting us all the time.whenever we plan for any good something bad happens.it seems that i m the unlucky charm.thats right.i m a very unluck person.and i m unlucky for my close ones too.they all feel it bt cant say it.there is always so complicacies with me.all time.from the beginning...

Its already 2 pages in word so i dnt wanna make this blog more boring for u guys.so its time for me to say good bye.any comments wud be appreciated.

Bye
Gd n8
Take care
love u all....
advance good morning and have a very happy & lucky day..may god with u.