We are now Graduates..
5:35 PM Edit This 1 Comment »
I became a graduate yesterday; it should be feeling good
right? Ya perhaps, but it also means increment in responsibilities and also
hike in self-expectations and also the frequency of self-realization will
increase also. Now I am hoping for my masters. Probably two degrees at a time.
I don’t know how much I can succeed but I have to try, I always have to try.
Isn’t it a good thing? Sometimes I feel that I should stop chasing. What it
gives me? Except for pain? I chased. And I failed and yet I prepare myself to
chase again.
They say dreams are important, without it no one can
imagine what they have to do next but what they don’t tell us that how much it
pains when our dreams get broken by someone very close or by the person who the
dream is about. Maybe people like to break other’s dreams. I will not say that
I haven’t broken any. Maybe I have broken more than mine. And so I should not
shout about “WHY ME?”.
In this peculiar time when I should be partying whole week
long I am asking myself what I have gained and what changes I got? I came to
the college heartbroken and I am leaving the college heartbroken. Either the
times it was some outside girl who broke me or I must say that by whom I got my
heart broken. As some of my acquaintances, I was a jerk, and they still call me
a jerk, reasons changed but not my designation.
Why I love you so much is a very hard to explain but The
harder question is question why I even love someone? The day before yesterday
night I was explaining this to one of my close friend upon whom I had a huge
crush one time and still have huge feelings for her though she is committed
somewhat happily now, but still I mourn within myself WHY NOT ME? We were so
compatible but yet I failed to create any feelings for her. So is it me? Who is
not eligible for any feelings of anyone? No one feels for me no matter how much
I try. No no I am not complaining, it’s that maybe perhaps I didn’t understood
what the love is.
Its not that I want to be loved, no I am not that selfish
but the fact, which I realized, is that I want to give love, take care of
someone, fighting with someone, making her dreams come true, making someone my
world, someone? Really? Or the only that person? My friends tell me to wait and
wait for the person who is about to come but again they tell me to hold myself
together for the right person. My question is how the hell someone could know
who is the right person? If I spend the time judging, I can’t use the time
loving. So I love. I trust and I respect.
And it has become evident that I can love two persons at a
time. Two? Only? Really? Why? …. anyways I am trying to forget both of them,
yet I cant because the feeling of love is very strong and to forget the feeling
I need either a equal powered feeling or the opposite feeling and I really cant
hate them both. because they didn’t committed anything bad to me its just me
who loved them madly. Loved. Tried to forgot. Again loved and again trying to
forget.
Maybe some of my readers can see that the only thing I am
writing on to this site is only about my life’s tragedy. believe me guys I have
only this to share. Don’t have anything else..
Bye for now
1 comments:
Love is not the heart of life, it is just a part of life , Ramen.. So never love anybody madly... Loving someone is good but be aware of heart broken....
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