My Digitized Thoughts - Ramen Mukherjee ...

hii.

today the world will again celebrate the festival of colours.there will be no sorrow left.no one will ever ask anyone for their permission to be happy.because they know its their right to be happy.but in between them have i lost my right to be happy with all?what's my guilt to pay for this much of a burdened price?for that there is no heaven or hell for me why i m so alone in this world?

i stayed silent all these time just to realize what's going on deep within and found that i m emptied to the core because what really matters to all is the face value,they don't bother to see the crust.many thing happened in this interval.nothing much unique plain old stories just playing again.not deja vu but not less than that also.everytime they refuse me for some cause spoken or unspoken ,realized or unrealized but this time there were no causes.its just NO.for no reasons at all.so i am not angry.i am just utterly curious.i was shocked because i could believed my senses.i thought for a second that i am hallucinating .

they say that if u love someone truly from the heart he / she can feel it.so its my fault that no one understand mine.because whole world cant be wrong all the time..my social life is well more or less good.private life was good.i was happy.i was very happy to get someone very special.until yesterday my dream broke.maybe this is for good also.

every time i think of something ,some forces make that reversed.i have no one.surely this can be touted as a joke.but i m not joking.actually what i realized that there is no place for an exception in this world.world is not a very cruel place but the people who r living in this.we make things complicated we r the one to be blamed of.so i don't have any hard feeling for her.i forgive her.i forgive them all in this very auspicious day.because they all cant be wrong.and they all made me realize that i have some faults.well it would be very kind of them if they also told me what was it exactly.anyways i am a lonely traveller in un unknown voyage, to know myself.my conception of me doesn't hold long for me.i have to know the truth.i have to discover myself.

enough of all this mess.i tried to living for others ,i tried to ,to live for me and again i failed.then for what i will live for?i know there is use for almost everything is this world but where i have spent the 1/4th of my life uselessly i am unable to figure out the use of someone like me.they also say that there is someone for everyone then where is she whom i need the most now.i doubt the very existence of her.

it is all about the realization of feeling.respecting it.count on it.love is bird.which always tries to fly away from you but its the strength of your understanding to each other which acts as a robe to imprison that bird.i know no one is happy in this world.and so am i also.i tried to catch that bird so many times yet i failed all the time.once she came to me also but i couldnt keep her with me all the time.circumstances came and i reacted.there is no good or bad.no sign of guilt.so i forgave them all.no regrets.as there is only person.HAVES & HAVE NOTs.and i belong to the second one.

happy holi to u guys …

bye