My Digitized Thoughts - Ramen Mukherjee ...

Well, I am writing from my tablet using blogger official app so prepare to get some grammer, spelling, typing, indentation and other such errors in this post. I will try to minimize but you all know how the mobile writing is. Though it has 7" of real estate space but still it feels crampy. Are you here to see the little hard truth? Well forat of all i have to tell you all that it will be small to you not me and its not hard to you either but to me. Then why i am sharing? No cause here. I write in my blog whenever i feel like. Its not because of anyone but maybe because of some causes. Good bad alike.

Maybe this post is my last post from my tablet as i am about to sell it. Thinking about buying a second hand iPhone 5s. Yes dear Americans, most of Indians can only buy second hand Apple stuffs. Its not like your movies where you all use apple all the time. I want to end the whole digital version of me. I am going to do it soon. I am just waiting for the right time. I was in the net before my digital avatar and i am again feeling the need to go incognito. And i am prepared for this.

Why? Because i have seen the world enough. Its not auitable for me but for the other me. I am good at myself. Others are just morons. There will be no harm to anyone nor anyone is going to shed ter
Ars fpr me and even if someone does cry me a river i dont care about it. No one is for anyone. Everyone is on their own. No one kills, no one dies. Its all just a part of a big choreographed drama. We are just the the players with expiration dates. Waiting for the curtain call.

I admire women. I respect them because they are far superior beings. Superior in every way of breaking hearts and bending rules. Superior in manipulation. They can make you do anything for them. They can make you dance in their tunes wheather you like it or not and wr have to dance because we dont have any other way. And after you complete your part they are so hearlessly remoursless that they can shed you out like a yellow leaf. I have been manipulated many times and in the end i was the one who always gets all the blame where the main culprits gets away with clean collers. So you see there is no way to not to respect them. Sooner of later you have to follow their commands conciously or the other way around. They will get whatever they want. And you call me misogynist. Unless someone have any first hand experience how can they understand it? They cant be anyone's friends, like feline species they are selfish. I find it disgusting to not have people who want equality. Everyone is chauvinist. And thats ridiculous.

Not feeling that much good today i am feeling that somethingh is hindering my thoughts today my life could be better without all the bells and whistels it has as an accessory. I am very much in deep with myself today. I reconnected with myself. I feel that i need myself more than anything now. I was talking earlier today with one of my friend about the golden edge i have lived through, the golden age of cyber media and entertainment. Yhe glorious days of computer games which were not about only fancy graphics but about story and gameplay. The thrill it game. The vountless hours of sensible entertainment they provided. The game delivery system. The stylish NFO's. The awesome playing tricks of them. The NFO 8bit audios. Now a days the games are all about graphics and more graphics. The games are becoming huge day by day. One of the latest game sized about 43GB. And the game has even no substance in it. The movies i used to watch was all about good stories, acting, direction, thrills. Now movies are about special effects and nudity. Same goes for the songs which recently became melodyless. I am very afraid that spon all the sources of entertainments will collife. Well its justified also. Which voes around, comes around. Its thelaw of nature.

One of the trend in the pirated gaming market is taking pace once again is rip and repacked games. Though in my opinion games need to be ripped also now a days. Because the substance are all becoming less day by day in them and its getting loaded with unnecessary video graphics pictures and audio s whivh can either be easily removed or can be compressed to highest degree becaude playing the game and getting entertained and thrilled is what matters. Not those videos. I spent my days playing those games but now a days i feel reluctant.Previously scene release groups publishes games with a bit of art in them. Those nfo, custom installers, 8bit audios were awesome. Now a days its all about releasing the original iso with nosteam patvh or somewhat like that.

Today i am feeling very nostalgic about it. I am not blessed of friends. I have none i guess. People comes, people goes, only my empty heart is eternal. Its the life's truth that now maybe everything has became so fast fluid filled with more features but somewhere we lost our humane side. Now its more about ghz, mhz, mbps, gdps, rpm etc. No one now cares about being human, its all about greed. More food is what people want but somewhere we lost our capability to share. Online shopping sites sells products with an illution of being cheap but avtually we forgot the art of bargaining. In the illution of being a king, we were becoming slaves of this system. Now that even government is spying on us. We cant even speak our hearts off. State govt, national government even the foreign government like america is sniffing all of us's butt for possible conspiracy. In this time whom we call friends? The fake profiles in facebook? Even todays whatsapp and other messengers are filled with fake profiles. Whom to believe? How to believe? All those untangible bits of data who only consumes the resources but dont contribute to anything. I cant trust them anymore. I lost my appetite for online friendship. I guess i tried enough now. All are fake. Its not that the grapes are sour but i cant encourage some fake bits of facebook junk to cause me pain again.

I need something tangibe. Someone tangible to be precise. Both my real and virtual world is empty. And i took this oppurtunity to escape from this net world. I didnt became its slave hopefully and now i am trying to be its master once again. The old self of mine was 1000 times better than i m tpday. This degraded version needs the punch like the old one. I really dont know that the history repeats exactly or not. And i dont want to become anyone's deja vu. I want to become me once again. As i written in the heading of this blog. I wanna fly sometimes....

Bye

Yesterday I lost much of data. 4 games become all corrupted. It was one of the very frustrating day of my life. I wasted my full day yet i got only corrupted downloads. The main reason behing this is the problem with my laptop, os, download manager, antivirus, one fellow who was downloading junk eating up my bandwidth, the server from which i am downloading was giving timeout errors. Data parts were becoming corrupted constantly. Laptop was hanging. Antivirus was eating all the memory and download manager keeps on rebuilding old parts so my hdd was also busy so none of the downloads took place in between giving the other person in the room hogging up all the bandwidths. Even the totrent client stopped working because of this disk cache overflow problem.

I summed up all of this as my bad luck because there was no reason to happen all of these. That person always dpwnloads with me in a same high speed wifi connection in college. I never felt problem with him. I am using the most latest of hardware and softwares. All are updated and original. There was no chance that all of these could go wrong. Even it rained all through yesterday so there should be no heating or dust problem. And as i was in the building so far from the window that moisture can come up in my laptop causing problem. And i am not doing these downloading forst time. I was doing these over the month.

Even when i went to market to put a screen guard in my tab there happened a problem with it, even all of my strict supervisions, i dont know how, a particle of dust entered inside the lamination film, and its now looking very odd. My 80rs got wasted. Then i went to each puri sabji, the famius of the market, and i burnt my mouth and tongue. I stopped eating there. Then i went to eat veg chow, again my trusted shop, as i was in empty stomach from morning, i was madly hungry, there i saw a huge crowd, all lined up to have some chow. I waited there and when finally i got mine, the chilly sauce again pained in my already burn inside of mouth. I was so disgusted yesterday.

My best friend, who is still in lots of problems, both mental and physical got again wet in this unexpected huge monsoon. Caught up in the middle of her work, she got wet and i know what happens next, she will suffer from cough cold and fever like always along with a sprained heel. Feeling sorry for her. She was too caught up with my bad luck. I know i am an unlucky charm in my close one's lives.

I am writing this post from my tab using blogger app. This was the most important app i searched in my previous windpws phone but i didnt found any app worthy to use but this app for android made by google is good. Lets hope this will help me to publish more blohs in the future though it has very less formatting tool so i dont know how it will look once posted. Also as i am not using ms word here so you will see lots of spelling error, i guess and as i always mainted a "one page" formula for my posting so that the posts will never get too long, but here i am unable to do so.

But i guess new should always be tried. Isnt it? :)

oh yes it is a Sunday. People call it fun day. I call it the dumbest day of my week.y? because Sunday i have nothing to do. Morning gets wasted totally by tuition. I maybe the dumbest smart person on the planet but surely I am too dumb to understand girls. Or maybe I understand them but not a particular one. Feeling like a couch potato right now.so much hard labour wasted.so much dreams vanished.so much wishes killed but for what? nothing? goes in vein?

Weeks have been passed. Students are prepared all over the west Bengal for their final test and here I am sitting in my room updating status and writing blogs. Sometimes I feel like shit. Really man I want to study hard but if I do I realize every time that I am already putting my best to it and I need to get a life. Mindless thing it is but I have no life. Loneliness is my only friend. My room is the only where I can be free, and I have only 1 person to tell all my thoughts, share all my laugh and cry no she is not my gf though I proposed her many times. Anyways she is more than a gf to me.is it very wrong to be addicted to her? I mean I am alone and I need someone. Anyone…

Its afternoon, normal people are enjoying the rest of the day and here I am sitting like a old person. Thinking about bizarre things. i am very possessive. This is a very bad thing for the person I like. They might feel choked. But I care for that and try not to be like that all time. I don’t know what am I thinking right now but it is for sure I need to tell something to someone and I can’t that’s why my brain is keep telling me to yell anything I want but I cant. Something is preventing me for doing it. All these and for heaven’s sake I cannot bear it anymore the duality in my nature is killing me from inside. i m torn apart. Does anyone care? No one cares for me.no one.

I don’t know is that a charm of mine or an dark aura which cloaks me from outside? Am I that invisible? Why no one sees me? I am 5 foot 10 and yet no one looks at me? I don’t think I am that bad looking? When I was small people used to tell me that who becomes the first on study will become everyone’s favourite but he did not told me that people would also jealous of him too. People will always want him to screw. Even the god himself is jealous of me. I know why because I am the god in living perhaps.

Is this is a dream and totally factious? Why I am not so normal? Or everyone else is acting abnormal? I don’t know. People maybe act normal and behind their mask they r more freaked out than me.

Some got love some r none.my pledge to girls is that please don’t hang on us guys. we are human too. Please have mercy on us too. ya I have to beg because world is now a days revolving around you guys. I have talked to many people. Some of them are men some of them are women and finally I understood that I have to beg. This is the new world order perhaps or the oldest one.

Yeah my new phone is working fine. But the nokia mail service isn’t. I didn’t found anything wrong in my phone. So finally, I think that their servers r screwed. I need a smps which would cost me 4100, a ups which again will cost me almost the same price of smps, a ram for 1500rs and my laptop’s battery is also crapped. i need that one too. and have to shell out 5000 or more total estimated cost of 15000.and I don’t have that much of money neither my family does and everything is very needed right now. i need to have some money too.to make my savings upto 1 lakh.that was my dream and one and only one dream that I m following to make it happen.and I know I will.i dnot have time I have only 1 year to make it happen.and I m very short on budget right now.has anyone ever noticed that why my blogs always contain exactly one page full of a MS word document ?? no one I bet.ha ha .its the way of ramen Mukherjee…

bye

Want to perk up your love life? Well, then start from the kitchen with food that will give you the oomph factor, says an expert.

Hormone and anti-ageing specialist Cecilia Tregear says that sex plays an important role in making people look and feel younger.

Tregear, who is based at the Wimpole Skin Clinic in Harley Street, London, has worked with hundreds of couples over the course of her 25-year career.

"The couples who were having lots of regular sex almost always looked younger than those who weren't. They were also slimmer, fitter, healthier and happier. Sexual activity, in my view, is an accurate thermometer for measuring health," the Daily Mail quoted her as saying.

And she realised the people who were having lots of sex in their relationships had one key factor in common: their diet. All of them were eating extremely nutritious food.

She explains: "Good nutrition is essential for the healthy production of hormones which maintain the libido and allow for regular and fulfilling sexual activity."

She has devised the Between the Sheets diet, which promises to perk up your libido. Combined with regular exercise it should ensure you not only have regular, great sex-just like you did in your youth-but look and feel younger too.

STEP ONE: FEED YOUR BRAIN

According to Tregear, the first step to boosting your love life is to feed your brain. "The biggest sexual organ is the brain, which produces the chemicals and hormones that trigger feelings of love and attraction, arousal and orgasm. We need to make sure we're eating the right foods to ensure the production of these chemicals and hormones."

First, it's important to have a diet that boosts the levels of the neurotransmitter dopamine, released by the brain. Dopamine is the feel-good chemical associated with the emotions of anticipation and desire. As such, it is vital to a healthy sex drive.

STEP TWO: BALANCE YOUR HORMONES

Having a good balance of hormones is essential to a healthy sex life, which is why the menopause - when hormone levels drop - can cause havoc with your sex life. There are three hormones responsible for arousal and sexual desire: oestrogens, which are present in both men and women, testosterone, also in both men and women, and DHEA (dehydroepiandrosterone), which is found in women only.

"A good balance of animal fat in meat and fish and good cholesterol, found in eggs for example, encourages the production of sex hormones, improving libido. It's vital to eat plenty of good quality protein, ideally a portion with every meal," said Tregear.

STEP THREE: BOOST YOUR ENERGY

For good sex, you need stamina and energy. While a generally healthy diet will help you feel strong and healthy, it's important to eat food that will increase your levels of

Human Growth Hormone (HGH). This hormone increases sexual desire and provides the stamina and energy needed for a sexual marathon. To increase production, eat organic protein from beef, fish, and chicken. (ANI)

source : http://in.lifestyle.yahoo.com/love-sex/how-you-can-perk-up-your-sex-life-blog-66-ani-news.html

hii.

today the world will again celebrate the festival of colours.there will be no sorrow left.no one will ever ask anyone for their permission to be happy.because they know its their right to be happy.but in between them have i lost my right to be happy with all?what's my guilt to pay for this much of a burdened price?for that there is no heaven or hell for me why i m so alone in this world?

i stayed silent all these time just to realize what's going on deep within and found that i m emptied to the core because what really matters to all is the face value,they don't bother to see the crust.many thing happened in this interval.nothing much unique plain old stories just playing again.not deja vu but not less than that also.everytime they refuse me for some cause spoken or unspoken ,realized or unrealized but this time there were no causes.its just NO.for no reasons at all.so i am not angry.i am just utterly curious.i was shocked because i could believed my senses.i thought for a second that i am hallucinating .

they say that if u love someone truly from the heart he / she can feel it.so its my fault that no one understand mine.because whole world cant be wrong all the time..my social life is well more or less good.private life was good.i was happy.i was very happy to get someone very special.until yesterday my dream broke.maybe this is for good also.

every time i think of something ,some forces make that reversed.i have no one.surely this can be touted as a joke.but i m not joking.actually what i realized that there is no place for an exception in this world.world is not a very cruel place but the people who r living in this.we make things complicated we r the one to be blamed of.so i don't have any hard feeling for her.i forgive her.i forgive them all in this very auspicious day.because they all cant be wrong.and they all made me realize that i have some faults.well it would be very kind of them if they also told me what was it exactly.anyways i am a lonely traveller in un unknown voyage, to know myself.my conception of me doesn't hold long for me.i have to know the truth.i have to discover myself.

enough of all this mess.i tried to living for others ,i tried to ,to live for me and again i failed.then for what i will live for?i know there is use for almost everything is this world but where i have spent the 1/4th of my life uselessly i am unable to figure out the use of someone like me.they also say that there is someone for everyone then where is she whom i need the most now.i doubt the very existence of her.

it is all about the realization of feeling.respecting it.count on it.love is bird.which always tries to fly away from you but its the strength of your understanding to each other which acts as a robe to imprison that bird.i know no one is happy in this world.and so am i also.i tried to catch that bird so many times yet i failed all the time.once she came to me also but i couldnt keep her with me all the time.circumstances came and i reacted.there is no good or bad.no sign of guilt.so i forgave them all.no regrets.as there is only person.HAVES & HAVE NOTs.and i belong to the second one.

happy holi to u guys …

bye