Life Friendship and Everything in Between..
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As I told before it was my new best friend’s birthday
yesterday and when I called I get a very mixed response, first it sounded rude,
second time when I called it was good, I thought that our chemistry is finally
working but later when I heard that its really actually working I was in cloud
9 but then again I was aware of my luck, I knew something is wrong. And for
that I was cautious. And later I found that really there is something fishy.
Anyways let’s see what happens but she tends to be always rude to me. I like
her because of her clear heart and mind. But maybe she hates me to some extent
and doesn’t want me in her life.
Never the less the total day went boring again. Tried to
study but couldn't concentrate. Tried to watch some news and parliamentary
debates seemed very hilarious and unfruitful to me. I mean I didn’t understood
so far that why they quarrel there? They are supposed to be doing the
betterment of the country and yet they are only fighting there with each other
even at the personal level. Just attacking each other won’t be going to solve
the severe problems of this vast country, yet they quarrel inside of the house
and kill each other outside. This is heinous politics. Almost 70 years ago
British predicted this future about India and 65 years later we prove then
totally right. Law and order have been destroyed here. People are not safe. The
country is not safe. Newspapers have become the lost & found directory. Is
this the freedom we wanted?
And to tell about the newspaper they have become the gossip
bulletins now a day because they sprinkle too much spice over normal news to
make it attractive. Writers’ editors use spicy adjectives adverbs to the
content to make their paper sales high. TV news channels worry about their TRP.
Exciting debated takes place. This is good and in between it people are getting
someone else’s view so much that they are losing their own view. I don’t think
that 5 people can make some problem’s solution; neither can they give a conclusion
to this. Especially when the problem is of public’s.
Still my laptop’s problem is not solved and I am very much
unpleased about it. I am not getting touch of my friends. Calling everyone,
giving miss calls frequently from days but none of them are replying to me. And
I am feeling very disgusted about it. I know everyone is busy in their life and
with their loved ones, but don’t I have some value in their heart? After all
these friendship and all that I have done for them, what I get? Just a little
show off type friendship?
Yeah I know they are all selfish. Selfish to the extremes
even the one who claims to be unselfish is a selfish one. That’s why they don’t
remember me in their happy times and the times when I needed them. They
remember me when only then need me and perhaps this is my purpose of being in
this world, to serve other’s purpose. Maybe there is a very scarcity of help in
the world.so god made me to help. To help all who knows me. But maybe even god
didn’t aware of this thing that I can too have my own perspective and I can too
deny the fact to be a slave to others. I can too choose my own path to lead and
I am doing it.
I chose not to be used by other and yet I end up doing
things for them. Maybe it’s in the nature of mine to fall. That doesn’t mean
that I am a weak character.it means I value the opposite person more than
myself. And this is where my fault lies. i give more value to people and they
end up thinking myself a cheap person. I have to break this dogma. I have to
let them feel my importance. But the thing is they have many people to fill
their gaps as they never valued me much and they can fulfil their work by
anyone they can have. So they probably never gonna feel the absence of me, and
by that I can say that they never valued my presence in their life. When it’s
very easy to cut off someone from your life then it is evident that you never
valued that person and this is where my sadness lied that after doing so much
for anyone no one values me.
People says me that GO AWAY..so easily. I can’t do that to
anyone. Because I value everyone and I respect everyone’s soul. So by my
situation should I start to believe that the time has changed for the good
guys? There is no need of a good guy? Because people like me always suffer.
It’s like good people always suffer but the reverse is not correct. It doesn’t
mean that a suffering person have to be a good person.
Many people pretend that they are good person as they are
suffering I simply hate this kind of attitude and thinking.it like they are mocking
us, the good guys, the really suffered person. Suffered from other peoples. It’s
because we can’t always do bad to bad people and we can only end up forgiving them.
but we sheldom forget the things and we repent eternally.
Is that a life you chose for the good kind and soft people
god??
Who will give the answer? Because god is a mute person..
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