02/11/2013 – Kalipuja - Saturday – 9:40 AM
9:40 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
There have been some turbulent
situations in my life through past couple of weeks. A new girl came, which I
told all you about, stayed for two weeks and gone on her will. Cause is still
unknown to me, I hope she has found some better guy than me or some better
opportunity or maybe she has lied to me all along the way about her love for me
and affection and blah blah blah. Well there is no remorse in that. Not every
love gets full filled and in my case it’s a classic tragedy that takes place
every time, still I fall in love as I am a sensitive guy. People can call me
desperate is they like. I have no problem with that, everyone is desperate for
something at some time. And maybe I am also. What’s wrong with it?
She left with no certain answers.
Yes we were incompatible astrologically. Our dreams were clashing but still I
found a way to mutualize things and cope up with the demands. Then her leaving
me, makes no sense. But still maybe it’s a destiny and the part of the journey
I am allotted with. Now a days it doesn’t feels so alien. I knew the expiration
date before it begins. But my adventurer soul says. Give it a try. He who
hasn’t tried yet, is the biggest looser, as they say so what’s wrong in trying?
Too high dreams are the main
reason why a relationship gets broken, if no one compromises anything then it’s
not a relation, however if only one people is compromising for the sake of
relationship then it’s also not a healthy relationship. It will become a
purgatory. Being into a relation and thinking about a healthy future is not a
crime. When I love someone, my intention is to make her stay and make her my
wife in future. I am not a “catch – fuck – leave” type of guy. I am a stable
person in case of relationships and I need commitments. If someone fails to do
so he or she must not go into a relation.
The world is filled with confused
morons. Commitment phobic and perverts. And the definition of pervertness or
the degree of it differs from person to person. To some talking is a
pervertness, being or demanding to be friend, is a pervertness. And to some
even having sex is not a pervertness.
I talked with someone last night
who stays in my locality, after some talks she said to me get lost, as if I am
trying hard to get her which is totally wrong. All I wanted a friendship and
being in my locality I thought that she will be interested to be my real life
friend. So I told her to meet in person. She said she will think about it and
everything was cool. Then I saw sudden change in her behaviour. Which was
unacceptable for me. I don’t liked it. I don’t have any internet connection
today unfortunately otherwise I would have blocked her. But then again what
good it will serve to me? Nothing. So I decided to keep her in my profile and
ignore. Ignorance is the worst thing you can do to a human.
Then I met someone totally out of
the box, she lives in Philippines, mind-blowingly cute, and a good kind
supportive heart. It’s hardly one week we chatted in Kik messenger and we
became very good friends. I thought that this could be someone good and worth
keeping for, but before our relation gets ripe someone enters in her life and
after the refusal of my proposal I finally thought to let her go. Anyways, I
will not be capturing anyone in my life. I believe in freedom and as it’s my
birth right so it is of anyone else’s. So I let her be free. She wanted to be
JUST friend, I agreed to that. Be my friend if you like to be. Friendship with
me is a hard job. Not everyone has the courage to be and stay as my friend.
Maybe slowly I am loosing myself.
One after another. All the broken vows haunts me in my sleep, pinches me like
broken glasses. I remember all of them and it is a curse, my whole life is a
cursed journey like I am running on the road of broken glasses. Sometimes it
seems like I am cursed with immortality and I realise that it is the worst
thing in the life.
TO BE IMMORTAL…….
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