Everyone is just SAME…
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Life shows you many
doors but won't tell you which door is for you. It is you who chooses it, we
call it decisions, and when decisions go wrong, we call it a luck and when it
goes right, we say it’s my karma. And sometimes it becomes so tough to realise.
I lost and found something today, yet it’s a matter of great thought that what
I had lost, was it mine? And what I got will it be mine forever? The answer
lies in Shreemad Bhagwat Geeta. Anyways I am not any baba and I am not giving
any prawachans here. That would be hilarious.
You might lose some
things at some points of your life and you might get back them, if you are
lucky, but still you are not getting the same thing back so why expect
certainty from this uncertain universe. Because of that foolish human hope.
Hope is our strongest power and darkest weakness.
After couple of days I
am again writing this page here. I had saved this page as draft. Well the
matter is I could have published it but I felt that it needed some more strong ingredients.
So I waited knowing my life is boring as ever I still tried to get some more.
So, finally she
showed her real face to me. Just exactly like the previous one, she came, she
told me couple of things about loving me and bond for eternity and all, I believed
and later she showed me that she is just playing with my emotions. She needed a
husband for the future and so she was collecting me. Just like a doll. She said
if she get into her desired line of education she will keep the relation
otherwise she will breakup and concentrate on her studies as now, according to
her, she can’t concentrate on two things at once. Okk fair enough for me but
she could have thought about this ago, before playing with my emotions. And as
far I knew her if she got into her desired education stream, she will meet some
other guys, better guys and will eventually leave me. As her words hold no
value, I can’t trust her anymore. I trusted her enough. All her lame excuses I endured
them all. She said she needs certain % of marks to meet me. what a hilarious
thing. She can go out with her friends not with me because of “what people will
think”. She didn’t changed her relationship status of SNS and neither of her friends
know about me. She has made many escape routes for herself. Now she has gone to
spend holidays with her family and completely forgets me. no reply on sns. Switching
off the mobile and switching on when she needed it. I understood that she don’t
want me now so I stopped. All her moves make me more insecure and negative. How
can I believe such a girl whose action and words contradict all the time? The problem
is that I was loyal and my heart was pure I got worried about her so I called
and now I am not even sure that she is off to holidays or what. She might have
got a new boyfriend and telling me lies just like my previous gf. Previous relation
was of 20 days for me and this one is of 24 days. I don’t know what is wrong
with my love but I think they DON’T deserve my love.
I am going through a
hurricane and none of this seems to be stopped. Yes I am frustrated completely
and don’t know how to get out of all these mess. Any person I loved betrayed my
trust, one way or another. Is that all my luck is about? Getting backstabbed? Whom
to believe? How to believe? Everyone is just SAME…
Bye
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