Strangled Agony..
12:52 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Again, I am writing my blog. Felt
for so much days, the urge to write. It was killing me. But what I will write
here? What I have new to share? The same old story continues. Spent my entire
afternoon and evening with my two very good friends, yet I feel that something’s
is missing. I mean what’s the fun roaming with someone else’s gf? And why I am
feeling this because my current special friend doesn't care about me. Now why
is she still only a special friend because she is confused. Yes, I like her and
she says that she thinks that she likes me. What a great deal of confusion she
has. And the irony is the people who cares about me, more than themselves maybe
fails to get the place in my life what they think they deserve and they might
be right but again if I don't feel anything for anyone I can't lie to them.
My days are going very boring and
monotonic. Yes the regular viewers of my blog (if there is any) knows it very
well. Probably I was writing these same old lines from 2 years. I am having
exams now, class tests, may sound some mere petty exams but they are serious to
me. It helps in great deal in study. I am living in a country where security
has become a fantasy. People are only having stable lives in movies. Rich is
getting richer and poor is poorer. The cause is obviously extreme level of
dirty politics over here. While people are busy fighting among themselves
outsiders are attacking us. Sometimes in the disguise of our own people, we are
getting attacked. Day by day, every time in a new form.
A criminal has been caught. And his
crime’s rabbit hole is deep. Many people’s names are coming from it. And they
are all politicians. Can't this be a cause to hate them? I seriously hate
liars. Now politicians are liars. Some even have no link of their work and
speech.
I feel I am too complicated to be
understood by anyone. What I like is known to me but I can't express always. People
misunderstand me on almost all the topics I discuss. The fault is in me I am
sure because I believe that not everyone can be false at the same time.
I am very unlucky in love. Yes and
I have no shame to admit it,. This is the best part I am never afraid of
accepting what I think is truth. And also I am very unlucky in most of my
works. I am bad in mathematics. My analytical skills just suck yet I am in a hard
core computer science stream. My teacher said that people like me don't prosper
and perhaps he is right. I don't see myself prospering. Yet I don't envy people
who are better than me because I know that I too have my place. I am sure about
my decision making skills. My forecasting power. If those people, who are being
treated as special, think they are really special, then they are wrong because
if they were special enough they wouldn't end up in the same place as me. it’s
hilarious.
The summer has just started here and
the temperature already rose to 35 degree C. Without AC machines life seems unfair
here. Again poor people like me struggle a lot to income the money required to
pay for the electricity bill. Just like the car, affording and AC is easy but
the running cost is high. At least for us it’s high. Rooms are as hot as sauna
baths. Also the mosquito problem is epidemic. Can’t sit on any place quietly, can't even open up the window. Many people thinks that the Vaastu of our
apartment is not good. Its very bad actually. Totally incompatible with us all.
We should leave this house and its true from every aspect. Right at the time we
step foot on this flat, I am serious, literally the day one I am speaking
about, we fall into a bad hurricane and since then we forgot how to live in
peace. One after another problems are emerging from every corners of life.
Now this is also very right that
my parents and their parentage is not good. I am living in a burning hell. Mostly
because of my mother. I don’t know why she has so much several issues. I don’t like
any one of them. They are making my life suffocating enough that I feel
sometimes to quit. Then again I recover myself from it. I again feel that maybe
I can do a lot better than them for my children someday. But as of now I am
lonely and single. And there is no way around by which I can become worthy,
instantly. For that I have to struggle
because in India, money is the thing which makes every boy eligible. It may
sounds hilarious but that’s the way things work here. Anyways I have to go now.
And again I must remind my friends that if we are true to ourselves we don’t need
any fancy confessions page of Facebook to confess about the hard truths of the
life.
Good Night.
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