21/06/2013 – Friday
12:13 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Today my one of friend is going
to buy a laptop for her, which she needed very much. Though the laptop I chose
for her is not available right now, she is buying different one and I have
given her all the needed tech-gyaan for this. Hope she will remember them all,
otherwise she will suffer later. She is a good friend of mine but I know that I
am just a “kampooter waala (tech guy)” friend in her life. I have no position
else than this, and now I don’t expect anything from anyone now.
I am a numb guy now. No strings
with outside world. I am within myself now. Exploring myself. Yes, I still find
some disturbance but those are inevitable. Apart from them I am free totally
and progressing in a path of nirvana. I know I have to return to the cyber
world, for god sake I am a computer engineer, this is the place where I should
be for my living in later life but I have to find a way by not to indulge too
much. It’s not addiction, I repeat, its indulgence. I think there is a thin
line between indulgence and addiction. If it was my addiction I would have
suffocated by the this time but I didn’t and this is the biggest proof.
As I said earlier, I don’t have
much of things going on in my life. So I don’t write this blog every day.
Because I am very much sure, that no one is interested to know here about my
daily life routine. I too even hate boring stuff so why would I serve them
here. I know people don’t visit here by their will. They come here from Google
and other search engines looking for some specific keywords. I am very sure
that my life does not contain those keywords.
I just woke up couple of minutes
ago at 10:00 am. Its 30 minutes more than the previous time. I am not lazy that
much but I am taking my time off so what does it matter.. eeh? I need sleep. My blood test results are
not so good. I am suffering from several things and many of the properties of
my blood has increased. I have to decrease the meter and that’s too in time or
otherwise it would affect my performance in my 3rd semester of MCA.
Because I am the (underdog) CR, I have to go to class every day and if I stay
ill all the time how I could ever achieve my 100% attendance rate.
I still have 15 movies to view
from and I think I will be needing three to four days for that and by that time
my college will re-open I think. The 3rd semester of MCA is going to
be the lengthiest one. My main problem subject would be undoubtedly Numerical
Analysis. This was my one of the biggest fear in BCA and this will be my fear
once again. Another thing I am worried about right now is about the results of
MCA. I think I am going to fail as my worst performance in my two laboratory
exams. In written I might pass but in laboratory? God knows the answer.
We are going to Kolkata in 23rd
,I hope. There are many work to do there, mostly are of my father’s stuff. The
only reason for me to go to Kolkata is to meet my best friend over there but I
don’t know that could be possible anymore by this time. Because apart from
being my best friend she is my love and she has her love which is not me so
it’s very evident. Besides I know its my destiny to be far from her life, one
day I have to go out of the radius, I have to prepare it from now. Isn’t it?
She have her own life, I don’t have mine without her. Don’t they say that “the
one who lives, lives on the ashes of others”. As I have stopped talking with
the world, I included her in that list too. Each and every day I am dying to
talk to her like before but I don’t know why I get the feeling of “stealing
from someone else’s tiffin box”. I hope u can get my dilemma here.
That’s why I stay far from people
who are committed or have someone special in their life. People like them have
their life saturated and in some cases super saturated. They only do time pass
with others when they have time and when they have not then it’s sure that they
are with their loved ones. I am sick of being in other’s kindness.
I guess you too can have such
feelings. Sooner or later.
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