13/06/2013 - Thursday
12:06 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
I am now totally out of cyber
world. Even if I had some of the cravings of it, it has ended I think. I won’t
disagree that I don’t want to go back to there, but what will be the use? I
don’t want to go back to that place filled with relative strangers. We live at
same place, we do similar things, maybe in different ways, we are so common but
still we all are strangers. I haven’t found any loner like me in there, hardly
I come across individuals with unique soul. They all are same. This is the
remorse; would I ever find anyone worthy?
Yesterday I had to take sleeping
pills, once again, I gambled myself with no desire to wake up, I embraced the
darkness and wanted to sleep into it. I know if I would have been writing this
whole thing in my mother language it would have been a lyrical poem of modern
age but alas! I have promised myself to write in the most famous language in
the world, The English, for my blog. And I keep my promises. I mean what I
have, to give. Except my words? Words are the only things, which understand me,
maybe.
I am writing, writing after many
days. From past 6 days I had been keeping a small roaster, films and films.
Only through the films I find my freedom. My mind wanders away from scenes to
scenes to script to script. Almost saw 300 films. Those who are regular at here
or my profiles know how fast I am in the matter of watching films. I now many
people will find it absurd but I know the truth that what I am. People used to
mock to me to go any movie house or film studio or perhaps contacting any media-publishing
firm to write reviews from them.
Isn’t it amusing that I am a
computer engineer who watches films, reads religious texts, speaks of
philosophy, listens to hip hop, aspires to be a hard core management guru and
yet writing blog in a faulty broken language which most people will give a good
laugh if they look at it even. Isn’t it really funny, how much funny mixture my
life is? Or maybe it’s a satiric art film where the hero dies at the end by
cancer and yet shadows dance and glorify the death?
No, its not mixed up, its messed
up. I’m 22+ and I am still single, virgin, lonely and maybe slowly reaching
towards the end to become unsocial. Oh! Yes I know what you say “Ramen, you are
frustrated man, take a chill pill, everything is going to be all right.” Isn’t
it? However, my dear fellow earth mate, isn’t 22+ with a very sensitive mind
filled with feelings are enough to gather experience of a century? I mean the
world is so fast here and if I walk slow, wont it be feeling like on a moving
train and everything in side is just going backward and in fast motion?
People are fighting for each
other’s blood, and men are shedding blood for love. Their love are playing with
them. People, so called modern people are playing games in the name of love and
some fools are falling in it in the name of love. They say “love conquers all”
but they perhaps didn’t knew the truth that love is a small poem which starts
with Chocolate and ends in condom. After one packet it’s all finished, lucky
are the one whose empty packets warn about fat and cholesterol rather than
pregnancy. But what if people lose their fear from any warning? Our animal
comes out. Human is the only animal which can play with their mind. The last
weapon as I say.
Everyone has some bomb shelter in
their life, where they know that they will be safe no matter what happens to
them, but I have nothing except some mirages and some weak buildings whose base
are made with lies. They say no relation should grow upon the base of lies but
they also say that to keep any kind of relationship, some small doses of lies
are essential. How small, they don’t explain properly perhaps they left it on
the users discretion. And we human users are more prone to misuse.
Do you too?
Bye
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