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14/10/2013 – Bijaya Dashami – Monday

12:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
It is raining continuously from last night with some pause of minutes. The dashami puja has started in the pandals. People are so sad now, 1st as the rain ruined it all and second it’s the end of puja. Well officially but there is lots of puja left. And lots of new clothes are to be bought. I really don’t like this rainy and most weather. Don’t know, perhaps I have also become a robot, living in this mechanical life. Sometimes I see and I don’t feel. Sometimes I feel a lot but I don’t see. Robots don’t feel isn’t it? Then what I am? Certainly I am not what I should be under the skin.

Just after a week my best friend’s birthday, I know she is going to spend that with her loved ones. The people whom she loves. I am not in that list. I don’t know, in whose list I am in. maybe there is no one in whose list I am present. I am invisible in everyone’s list and my list is overloaded with names. It’s so ironically funny. My phone’s contact list is filled with names. Some I know, some I don’t and some I can’t forget. Yet I find no one to contact. Isn’t it a cursed life?

Oh! I caught some serious cold, though I have taken medicines for that because I don’t want to spend my rest of holidays sneezing. One of my new friend on Facebook has come back after couple of days. Chatting to her is nice. Yesterday I also called one of my friend, seems we have forgot each other. Well after a nice talk over phone I felt good. At least some people remembered me. Many have forgotten me. It’s really sad that sometimes we don’t find feelings for the people who genuinely loves us. I know there are just few people who loves me but I couldn’t grow any feelings for them. I know the consequences when someone grows feelings for some people unnaturally. I am a sufferer of this and perhaps for me there is another person who suffered.

Lastly came the time for calling people up and wishing bijoya. Well we have to call many of my family members despite the fact that we are among the elders. It’s the fate of some people I think to get the respect of others. Others have to toil for it. My so called extended family is not so good. Neither my friends, oh! I don’t have friends. Forgot that. Some people just wished me in facebook, some will send msg tomorrow, as today is a mobile blackout day, and I am not worth a penny to anyone. Saw the movie Jobs, sometimes I was relating myself to it. I am too cut off from the world. Maybe I am living in my own world. Not a geeky one but a dark one.

Now as puja has ended its now again the wait of 384 days….


Suvo Bijoyaa everyone.

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